Ask And You Shall Be Answered
by XSolXSkyX
Summary: Too many people to count. One random room that appeared out of nowhere. And one clinically insane host. What do you get with all this? Kingdom Hearts Questions Session. No holds barred. Booyah. "I'm ashamed to be a part of this." Yeah, we all are.
1. Debut Episode: Punched In The Bieber

_My second try at one of these on this new account. Hope this goes well! Disclaimer will be done here for this chapter. So... **Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned. So yep!**_

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><p>?: Ugh, dammit! This friggin camera won't turn on!<p>

?: Uh, Sky, that's because the lens is still on the camera. Other than that, it's on, and working.

?: ...Right. Psh, I knew that already, Sora.

?: If you did, then why did you-

?: Knew that already, Riku.

?: But why did you spend the past two hours trying to break the-

?: OMG KAIRI, STFU! Gosh, how stupid are you?

?: _*sniffles*_ ...Rude.

?: Say you're sorry, Sky!

?: Yeah, no thanks, Sora. Ugh, go in the emo corner if you're going to cry, I don't have the time for this.

?: B-but, if I go into the e-emo corner, I'll have to fight Ze-ze-ze-ze-

?: Ze-ze-ze-ze-ze-ze, shut up! Gahh, stop stuttering! It makes me want to cut Justin Bieber's hair.

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><p><em>*Somewhere in wherever JB is right now*<em>

Justin Bieber: I sense a disturbance in the hairstyle force. I wanna **Ride **to the **Favorite Girl** that is going to cut this mess that everyone seems to **Love Me** wearing. I personally hate it, and you can **Never Say Never** to a haircut. Am I right?

_*Back to those ? people*_

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><p>?: SKYYYYYYY! SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY-<p>

?: DAMMIT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, AXEL?

?: There's still question mark thingies in front of those colons. ?: Like that. See?

?: Isn't a colon inside of you? OMG, there's question marks inside my body! Get them out Larxene, get them out!

?: The only thing I'm getting out of you is your retardation, and that will be from me beating the shit out of you.

?: _*sniffles*_ B-but, I like my poopoo inside of me.

?: _*facepalms*_ Well, I should probably fix those question marks next to the co- ...I mean, those two dots in front of them.

?: QUESTION MARKS HAVE CHICKEN POX? :O

Sky: Dem-Dem, one day, we'll look back on this in the asylum and laugh about it. Anyway, hey people, I'm Sky, the author of this bountiful new fic! :)

?: One that you will ultimately end up failing at, or like the other one on your old account, get closed down by those rule-lovers or admins or whatever they're called.

Sky: Nobody likes you, Vexen, go suck my back.

?: ..._*stares at*_ I will do no such thing. I haven't a clue where you're back has been.

Sky: The hell? What, you think it's been in the sewers lately? God, old farts these days, think they can just toot at you whenever.

?: I resent that.

?: Vexen, I'll kill you again. Don't make me. _*Gives psycho stare*_

?: St-stop staring at me! ...AHHHHHHH! _*runs off to the bathroom*_

Sky: Oh well. Let's just hope he doesn't turn the toilet into a monster again.

?: Most uncomfortable shit I've ever taken in my lifetime.

Sky: You're a nobody, Xiggy. What lifetime did you ever have?

?: Touché, young one. I shall reward you later when the lights are off, plunging us into darkness, and taping you to a chair. As part of a fun game. ;)

Sky: Ew. Pirate pedophile. Well, let's introduce the characters first. We haaaaaavvvveeeeee:

Sora: Hii! _*picks nose and wipes on Kairi's head*_

Kairi: Hey there! I have the sudden feeling that somebody wiped a booger on my head. Huh, oh well.

Riku: Sup. Well, you can buy my new calendars at .org, which now accepts Visa credit cards and-

Roxas: Yeah, hey great, shut the hell up. Hey guys! If you give me ice-cream, Bob Marley t-shirts, Miley Cyrus' bra, or Sea-Salt ice cream, I'll love you for eternity. :)

Namine: ..._*sweat-drops*_ -_-" Yeah. Okay. Hi there! Be easy on me for questions, I don't wanna get hurt...

Ven: That's no fun! Fun is when you shove dynamite into the asses of Master Chief going into the Halo game, avoiding getting sniped, then getting laid by Edward Cullen of Twilight upside down hanging from a tree, only to end up killing him. Oh, and hi!

Terra: ...Ven, after this is done shooting, I'm taking you to a Hospital. Hello there, I'm Terra! What are your names? Why are you reading this garbage? (Sky: JERK!) Are you here to read about me? Do you think Aqua will ever like me? (Aqua: U-uh...no comment.) Will Sky ever be able to complete my story on Birth By Sleep? (Sky: No! xO)

Aqua: Alright, enough questions! That made Ven break down, imagine what it could do to the readers. Hey, I'm Aqua. Glad to see somebody's reading this.

(Sky: Next person to diss this story will be thrown outside to the man-eating bears, since I consider most, if not all, of you men. Except me, because I am gorgeous. Good.)

Vanitas: Yo. Uh, any of my fangirls out there, you may not want to make a move on my sexiness. Sky owns me, apparently, and we are dating. _*shows camera tattoo that says "Property of Sky ™"*_ So yeh. Also, anyone says something stupid I'll hunt you down and kill you.

Sky: My baby's just kiddin'. ^_^" _*goes to find lawyers*_

Xemnas: Fools. In this story, I shall eventually end up enslaving all of these pitiful morons, who are nowhere near as smart as I, Leader of Organization XIII. They are so dumb, they cannot even figure out the rubix cube, while a small Japanese boy did this in seconds, according to this "yubtub".

Sky: It's youtube...

Xemnas: Whatever. Also, they don't deserve my hi.

Sky: Dammit, if you don't say hi as perky as a Wal-Mart greeter, I will take this sword that magically appeared out of nowhere and shove it up your nose.

Xemnas: Hulo. Eh, Hello?

Sky: Good.

Xigbar: I'm tellin' ya Demyx, you have to turn it the other way, you just messed up the green side! Oh, uh, hey. Listen, if you guys have any tips to the rubix cube, let us know, okay?

Xaldin: Cheating? In the rubix cube? My, how sad that is. _*Stares longingly at rubix cube*_ ...MOVE BITCHES, MY TURN! _*Goes extreme rubix mode*_ Yeah, yeah, yeah, hi. JUST GOT THE RED SIDE!

Vexen: I'm losing brain cells just looking at you morons. That's not red, Xaldin, that's blue, and you messed up the other sides as well. _*Sighs*_ Good day, imbeciles reading.

Riku: You're also the imbecile starring somewhat in this, so no making fun of the readers. Besides, you're the star nobody likes.

Vexen: Hurtful! :( And to think I made a clone of you, boy!

Lexeaus: ...

Sky: Speak, doggie, speak. Want a heart? Heart?

Lexeaus: _*gets on knees and barks*_

Sky: Roll-over, Lexie! Roll over!

Lexeaus: _*rolls over*_

Sky: Good dog. Now, say hi!

Lexeaus: Arf-hi-arf!

Sky: Good Lexie! _*pets*_ Also, I don't have a heart for you. ^_^ Sorry.

Lexeaus: _*sulks and goes upstairs, crying so loud, earthquakes form in China*_

Sky: Aww crap. :'( Poor China. I'll murder Lexie when he gets downstairs again. Wonder how bad it was?

(I'm currently funding for China over here, so don't be too offended by this joke. Workin' my butt off.)

Zexion: Hello. If you have any books such as **Vampire Diaries**, **Twilight**, **Maximum Ride**, or anything even remotely similar to these books, you may talk to me, unless you agree to give me these said books. Thank you and have a nice day.

Saix: I shall not be saying hello to any of those Lord Xemnas haters out there, for they are immensely stupid and do not know a great leader when they see one. And the day Lord Xemnas enslaves the world, they shall bow before his mercy.

Sora: You totally just said you are Xemnas' slave of love.

Saix: W-what? Preposterous!

Kairi: Sora, don't get me wrong, you are wonderful, but...how do you get that from his rant about enslaving the world?

Riku: How is Sora wonderful? If anything, I'm wonderful. I mean, have you seen my six pack? And let's not start with my ha-

Kairi: Shutthehellup'causenobodylikesyou. Anyways, go on Sora! :)

Riku: *sulks*

Sora: Why thank you Kai. Well, eh, I know a gay sex slave when I see one.

Sky: Questionable. What are the signs?

Sora: Well, they're easily angered-

Saix: I AM NOT I WILL CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD AND PLAY BASKETBALL WITH IT, ALTHOUGH I FAIL EPICALLY AT SPORTS, FOR SAYING SUCH THINGS, YOU COW!

Sora: -They're defensive if you bring it up-

Saix: I-I have no relations to Lord Xemnas, we are merely co-workers. Neigh, I am his humble second-in-command. I simply admire his amazing skills, and you have no proof of me taking photos of him in The Shower That Never Smelled.

Vanitas: There were a number of things wrong with what you just said. For one, you just proved Sora's point not once, but twice. Two, we never mentioned anything about photos. Three, what kind of gay name is that for a shower?

Sky: Baby's got a point. Well, whatever, moving on from questionable hobbies and showers, which people desperately need in this room.

Axel: Hey, I came up with that name for the shower!

Vanitas: Ask and you shall be answered.

Axel: HEY! …Hey, that's the title of this thing! xD

Demyx: I don't get it…?

Axel: You don't get anything or anyone, do you?

Demyx: I get Zexion! :D

Zexion: Wh-what? You do not, Number IX!

_*Everybody dies laughing*_

Demyx: What? You guys don't understand Zexion?

Sky: Oh. That's not too funny. But no, nobody else here understands him. Aside from you, I guess? Which is weird.

_*Army of Zemyx fangirls bust in through roof cosplayed as Demyx and Zexion*_

Zemyx Fangirl 1: OMG! He understands him! AWW! SO CUTE!

Zemyx Fangirl 2: Quick! Let's take pictures!

Everyone: AHHH!

Aqua: _*summons stick*_ BACK! BACK YOU FILTHY CREATURES! _*whacks in eyes with stick*_

Zemyx Fangirl 79.3: OMG MY EYES! NOW I CAN'T WATCH ZEMYX PORNO!

Everyone: ?

_*Zemyx fangirls are thrown out of room*_

Sky: Thank god for that. Now, let's continue. Please, before something else mind-blowingly retarded happens.

Luxord: Ello chaps. Get me rum, cards, or illegal substances and I'll give you a nickel.

Terra: Really? A nickel?

Luxord: Too cheap, eh? Right you are, lassie.

Terra: I'm a boy.

Sky: One that's in desperate need of a name change. Does your mom hate you?

Terra: MY MOMMY LOVES ME VERY MUCH! _*cradles in Aqua's lap and cries in shoulde__r*_

_*Aqua Blushes*_ Aqua: There, there? _*recovers and throws onto floor*_

Terra: :(_  
><em>

Luxord: Anyway, I raise it to a penny, and I won't go any higher than that.

Roxas: This is just getting ridiculous now.

Luxord: FINE, FINE! I WILL GET YOU A PLASTIC QUARTER.

Marluxia: Wow, that's a lot better. _*flips hair and sighs*_ It's so hard to be the sole beautiful and intelligent one.

Luxord: The joke's on those crackers. I only have 500 dollars. Hehehe, those idiots.

Larxene: _*whispers*_ I'm going to strangle you in your sleep.

Marluxia: You say somethin', gal-pal?

Larxene: Oh, I said I'm going to strangle him in his sleep, Marls.

Marluxia: Ooooh, goodie! Have fun Larx!

Xion: Hi everyone! It's really awesome to be here and I hope you guys ask me some questions and stu-

Marluxia: OOOH A BARBIE DOLL! …Eh, nevermind, this one's the ugly models to make girls feel more self-confident about their looks.

Xion: _*sobs and runs upstairs*_

Sky: Jesus, that's like the third person to get all bent outta shape. Whatev, I'll get her later. Moving on.

Not nearly as important or popular as the other characters: HEY! WE ARE AMAZING IN OUR OWN WAYS AND PEOPLE LOVE US TOO!

Axel: Psh, yeah right. Do you have tattoos under your eyes?

NNIPOC: …No…Bu-

Roxas: Are you emotionally challenged to a point where you have your own facebook page?

NNIPOC: No…But w-

Axel: Did you kill yourself in a game using sheer firepower just to save your best friend's original person?

NNIPOC: …? No. But-

Roxas: Are you paired with so many people that you're starting to question your sexuality?

NNIPOC: …No? What was that last question about?

Roxas: …Nuttin. NOBODY LOVES YOU.

NNIPOC: T-T

(These characters are basically the Disney people or Wakka, Selphie, Tidus, Hayner, Pence, Olette, Seifer, Fuu, Rai, etc.)

Sky: We can't forget those Final Fantasy people. I mean, we all love them. Am I right?

Everyone but Sora: NO.

Sky: Bitches..Well, here they are.

Cloud: I have a lifetime supply of hair gel at disposal, over 7,000 yaoi fanfictions of me and my mortal enemy, he who shall not be named, and I'm emotionally conflicted that it becomes expected in every single game I'm in. In other words, I'm Cloud.

Demyx: He who shall not be named? Voldemort? _*GASP*_ OMG I JUST SAID IT SKY SAVE ME! _*clings to Sky*_

Vanitas: _*rips Demyx off and throws him in closet*_ No. Stay.

Sky: ^_^ So cute!

Squall: Uh, h- …Change my name, Sky.

Sky: _*whistles holding name changing device*_ Who, me? I didn't do squat.

Sora: How do you do squat? Like, what position-

Sky: SHUTTHEHELLUP. :) Well, let's continue the-

Squall: Not until you change my name back. _*Pulls out gunblade*_

Sky: _*sigh*_ Fine. Killjoy. _*Changes name back* _Need a new set of tampons after your raging PMS attack you were going to commit on me? Hm?

Leon: _*glares* _No. And good. And yes, I am a killjoy. Live with it.

Yuffie: I'll live with you! Me likes the sexy leather bad-boys.

Leon: And "me no likes" the annoying, hyperactive, dressed-like-a-hooker ninja poser types.

Yuffie: _*backhand smacks*_ What a bitch!

Aerith: Now Yuffie, that's not very nice.

Sky: You're voice isn't very nice.

Aerith: Aw, sad face. Why you so mean?

Sky: Bitch, please. I ain't mean, yo momma's mean.

Ventus: Uh, no, that's you being mean.

Sky: Right. Her real mom's dead and her foster mom is being killed by my assassin from Vocaloid, Kato, as we speak.

Aerith: Wait, wh-

Sky: Moving on to characters I actually respect.

Tifa: Hey! …Cloud. Well, hope you guys ask me questions, and ask a certain blonde questions as well.

Sky: Teef, it's better to be specific. The following blondes we have are Namine, Roxas, Demyx, Larxene, Tidus, Hayner, Alice, Luxord-

Tifa: Right. An EMO blonde.

Sky: Still leaves Roxas.

Tifa: That's last name is Strife.

Terra: According to numerous fanfictions, that could still include Roxas.

Tifa: The first letter of his name is a C.

Axel: _*holds in laughter*_ …C-Coxas? x) Sounds awfully like Cocks-ass.

Tifa: CLOUD. CLOUD STIFE. DAMN.

Cloud: ….

Sky: What a waste to type. Well, continue.

Merlin: Eh, why, hello there, and I do hope I get a few ques-

Larxene: Next. I hate old people.

Merlin: That's quite rude, young lady!

Larxene: I hate being called young lady.

Axel: Would you prefer young man?

Larxene: _*elbows Axel in the face*_ Stay down.

Axel: SIR YES SIR. _*gets kicked in back of head*_ FML.

Cid: Would you shut your fuckin' trap, goddamn, can't even smoke a fuckin' cigarette without hearin' buncha dumbasses babblin' 'bout useless shit. FUCK!

Sky: Too…lazy…to…censor…Just….go….with it….

Riku: If that old fart can swear, why can't I advertise my sexiness?

Kairi: Riku, the series hasn't started completely yet, and nobody has asked if you're gay or not. You can drop the pretty-boy act.

Riku: Oh thank god. Well, why is that guy allowed to swear?

Sky: _*glomps Riku*_ Thank god for normal sexy Riku. No offense Vani babe. :D Well, Cid's awesome, so leave him be.

Cid: DAMN STRAIGHT BITCHES.

Sky: See? There's no beatin' that.

*Zack walks in*

Zack: Hey, am I late?

Namine: Kind of, random sexy dude at the door.

Girls: OMG SEXY DUDE AT THE DOOR!

Sky: AHHH! ZACK! ZACK FAIR! ZACKY! THE PUPPY! I-I-IT'S, HE'S, UH, AHHH! _*passes out*_

Aerith: I forgot how sexy you are. I'm supposed to be in love with Cloud, but now I'm conflicted. Hmm..

Yuffie: NINJA FAST REFLEXES CLAIM HIM FIRST!

Kairi: OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Larxene: I CAN ARRANGE THAT! TOMB OR CASKET?

Aqua: I'LL HELP BURY HER! ZACK REMEMBER YOU ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE? I ACCEPT!

_*Sky wakes up, with help from mouth-to-mouth by Vanitas*_

Sky: Thanks baby. OMG ZACK! ….Wait, the thrill just wore off. Suspicious. I smell a code "Demyx the dip-shit messing around with Old Fart's potions".

Vanitas: Oddly specific smell…

Sky: I picked up Riku's smelling ability from Chain of Memories. :) I'm special. Well, where's Dem-Dem?

_*Demyx looks guilty with broken potion bottle*_

Demyx: _*looks back and forth between Sky and Vanitas, who has X-Blade out*_ It was him! _*throws bottle at plant*_

_*Plant goes insane for Zack and joins massive girl army to attack him*_

Zack: OW OW OW OW SHIT THIS THING HAS THORNS! AHHH LAZY ASSHOLES SAVE ME!_  
><em>

Sky: DAMMIT! FOR ONCE I'D LIKE A NORMAL INTRO! IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?

Vanitas: Demyx, I will murder you in the count of three if you don't fix this.

Axel: _*sighs*_ I got this. _*Gets out yaoi pictures for girls*_ I'm gonna regret this. _*throws into crowd*_

_*girls calm down instantly and leave Zack, who is now in his boxers, alone at the door*_

Zack: I feel loved yet raped all at once. And someone stole my shirt. My pants are also ripped next to my feet. What the hell happened to my shoes?

Guys: It happens.

Girls: SHH! TRYING TO LOOK AT YAOI!

Sky: O.o Glad I'm not that obsessed. Well, is that it? _*gives Zack change of clothes, regretfully*_

Sora: I think so.

Sky: Okay. Well, there's really no rules, just nothing too extreme, m'kay? Also, if you guys have any characters you'd like to ask that I didn't mention, just lemme know. They can appear. I can drag them here and threaten them to a point of shitting themselves.

Riku: You're one scary chick. I like that.

Sky: Aw, thanks!

Vanitas: _*growls at Riku*_ Piss off.

Sky: Be nice! Well, leave us some questions or dares. Yes, we also accept dares. Exit song time!

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><p><strong><em>*Justin Bieber pops out of closet with Demyx and dances to Somebody To Love, Demyx singing more like a girl than Justin Bieber*<em>**

**Sky: …I'm sorry you guys had to see that. Bye and leave que-**

**Demyx: I JUST NEED SOMEBODY TO LOVE! I-I DON'T NEED TOO MUCH, JUST SOMEBODY TO LOVE!**

_***Demyx gets on JB wig, and JB twirls him around in circles***_

**Justin Bieber: I don't need nothin' else, I promise girl I swear, I just need-**

_***Demyx punches Justin Bieber in the face***_

_***Intense awkward silence***_

**Demyx: (To JB) WHAT NOW, BITCH? Tryin' to steal my spotlight, I'll get catty with you. Inner ghetto powers, ya dig?**

**Everyone except Demyx: I'm ashamed to be a part of this.**

**_*Camera turns off*_**

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><p><em>After this I'll start adding minis off-camera at the end! :)<em>**_  
><em>**


	2. Episode 1: Don't Get Mad, Get Yaoi

_Sorry this took so long to get out there, I've had a lot going on with school. 5, count 'em, 5 science projects, 2 projects during a friggin' field trip, and one major one that decides if I pass or not. FML. But, uh, I made the time to get this up here! Enjoy and forget my rant! ;)_

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><p>Sky: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD MORNNINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG! How is everyone on this fine and dandy day? HMMM!<p>

Axel: Urge to kill...rising...

Kairi: Seriously Sky, I'm the fan-labeled Mary Sue and I'm ready to kill you.

Sky: DO IT HO! I DARE'S YA, DO'S IT! C'MON, MAKE MY DAY, HO, LET'S GO, C'MON, C'MON, C'MON! _*Slaps Kairi across face*_ DOOOOO ITTTT HOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Sora: Alright you can stop ri-

Sky: _*pimp slaps Sora*_ I WASN'T DONE! Ah-hem. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Everyone: ...

Riku: Are you alr-

Sky: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Now I'm done. ^_^

Everyone: -_-"

Vexen: I'm in hell.

Axel: You were in hell when I killed you.

Vexen: Yes, but that hell was enjoyable. This is downright cruel and unusual punishment.

Namine: That's a bit ridiculous, Vexen.

Vanitas: Actually, I think he has a point. _*Points to the others*_

_*Larxene is dunking Demyx's head in the toilet, flushing every few seconds*_

Larxene: SING BITCH SING!

Demyx: _*gurgling*_ I dun kno whu I been tol. Larxene's punishments are funny as hell.

Larxene: THAT DIDN'T RHYME! _*flushes head*_

Vanitas: That's the cruel.

_*Ventus and Roxas are seen debating over their fans on facebook*_

Ventus: See! Look, I have way more than you!

Roxas: Like hell you do! My fans are prettier anyways! You have some chick named "Megan Fox" that liked your page. How ugly is that?

Ventus: ...You are retarded.

Roxas: Excuse me, ugly spokes-person?

Ventus: _*shoves pencil in Roxas's nose*_ NINJA REFLEX!

Roxas: WHAT THE HELL? UGH I'M BLEEDING NOW AND MY EYE IS TWITCHING! RAGGGEEEE! _*shoves carrots in Ven's ears*_

Ventus: RANDOM HOUSE OBJECT FIGHTS!

_*Goes into full-out dipshit war*_

Vanitas: That's the unusual.

Namine: I stand corrected. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get that lamp out of Roxas's shirt. VENTUS YOU DO NOT PUT A FRIDGE THERE!

Aqua: SO HELP ME GOD NAM IF YOUR LITTLE LOVER GETS ANY CLOSER TO VEN WITH THAT LAWN-MOWER, SHIT'S GOIN' DOWN!

Sky: OLLLAAAAAA!

Terra: I'm sorry, I mean, my hearing's probably off from all this APESHIT NOISE, but, did you just say shush ola?

Sky: Oh no, it's not off. I really did say that. _*giggles*_ Teehee!

Xion: If a host dies in the middle of the forest, would anyone hear it?

Roxas: The question is, would anyone care?

Axel: And whether or not anybody would notice.

Sky: Next person to comment about my dying in a forest will get a stick of dynamite shoved up their ass.

Everyone: ...

Sky: And Xion, if a doll loses a limb or two, would anyone be happy? Answer: yeah, many people would be happy.

Xion: … I just got burned.

Sky: Any other comments from anyone?

Everyone: …

Sky: Great! Well, we got reviews! Strangely, we did. Next time, if anyone insults this thing, I get permission to eat you.

Hayner: Since when did you give a damn about permission?

Sky: Since I realized Square Enix has lawyers so devious, it makes the Grinch look like a faithful Catholic.

Hayner: ...Right.

Sky: Well who wants to read one? Hmm?

_*Everybody's doing their own random crap, ignoring her*_

Sky: Fine. Let's play hard-ball then. _*Grabs Marluxia by the ear*_

Marluxia: _*screams*_ Is this what it's liked to be raped? I always wanted my first time to be with Vexen but..

Vexen: NO YOU INSULENT FLOWERBOY DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF UPON ME AGAIN!

Axel: Hey, who wants to GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION? Anyone? It can't be just me here.

Marluxia: Sorry Axie-Kins, I'll just read now.

Larxene: _*cackles* _I forgot Mar-Mar called you that.

Axel: Like you forget half of your clients' names?

Everyone: OOOOOOH!

Sky: Bitch got told!

Larxene: READ THE DAMN REVIEW MAR-MAR BEFORE I COOK HIS ASS!

Marluxia: Sure thing, Larxy.

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><p><em>All i have to say is... *random laughing and running around screaming* THIS IS AWESOME! - tiredgirl<em>

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><p>Sky: Hehe, why thank ya very much! Always good to hear positive stuff. Lord knows I won't get it out of these guys.<p>

Roxas: Sky, you will amount to nothing in life and be a total failure as a writer.

Axel: Sky, you are insanely ugly and nobody loves you.

Riku: Sky, you were adopted. Your mom told me so when I banged her last night.

Sky: T-T And that's just starting with me. They go into detail about what I own an-WHAT ABOUT MY MOM?

Riku: What? Adopted?

Sky: NO AFTER THAT!

Riku: Oh, what, I banged her?

Sky: ...You, a 16 year-old MAN WHORE, banged my mom? Who's old and wrinkly, like, 40 or so?

Riku: Yes?

Sky: I'm not calling you my father. You're too sexy for that.

Riku: Thanks! And that'd be awkward.

Sora: Daddy issues aside, can I read next?

Sky: Hmm...Lead character reading? Nah that's okay. Least importants first! Lexeaus, you don't talk, therefore I like you! READ!

Lexeaus: ...Ok.

_*Org 13 gasps*_

Lexeaus: ...**(Sky: I think he's constipated..)**

* * *

><p><em>hmmm...<em>

_ zack:aqua, aerith, or...*shudders* sky?_

_ cloud:dude, did you know about cloudXseph yaoi fics? :D_

_ xemnas: which do you prefer, MANSEX or SEXMAN? - nisteriuscide_

* * *

><p>Sky: Wow, thanks for the first questions! Means a ton! :D<p>

Sora: You are a sad little girl.

Sky: Psh, and you're a gay little boy. _*imitates Sora in KH II* _"I looked everywhere for you! Oh Riku, I hope we can fornicate until the sun sets with us panting heavily as we stare lovingly into each other's eyes!"

Sora: _*blushes* _Wha-what? When did I sa-say this? …

_*Riku backs up into the farthest corner, using Terra and Lexeaus as human shields*_

Everyone: …_*awkward tension*_

Sky: Ehehe…Hey Zack answer your question!

Zack: Err…Let's see. Aqua's paired with like everyone in BBS, Aerith's the cheating whore, and Sky…let's not cross that bridge, shall we?

Sky: I'll take that as a compliment, since you called Aerith a cheating whore.

Aerith: CHEATING WHORE? WHAT THE HELL HOW DID I CHEAT?

Everyone: Crisis Core.

Aerith: Oh…right, well, I'm gonna go find Cloud. Toodles!

_*Tifa's eye twitches as she stares at Aerith leaving, planning her death in her head*_

Zack: Dark. Well, uh, I guess Aqua then. So long as Terra and Ven don't kill me.

Ven: Go for it bro. Couldn't hear you over the sound of Tifa's boobs.

Terra: Make a move on Aqua and I shoot you. :)

Aqua: Right! Er, I mean, uh, whatevs! Teef, you just gonna let Ven say that about your mounta-err, chest?

Tifa: …Ignoring the little pervert and the blue bitch, I'm gonna go get Cloud.

Axel: Shield your innocent eyes, Tifa! AERITH AND CLOUD COULD BE HITTING THE SACK, CHOKING THE SMURF, EATING THE BAGEL, KAPISHE?

Roxas: …Eating the bagel? Choking the smurf? Now you're making shit up.

Demyx: Why would you put make-up on your poo?

Larxene: …Can I-

Sky: No, you signed a contract not to, and I quote, "choke a bitch and or retard" on camera. Off-set, go for it.

Larxene: I'll be counting down the minutes.

_*Tifa comes in dragging Cloud by the shirt, with blood on her hands*_

Namine: …The blood?

Tifa: Threw Aerith out the window. She was flirting with Cloud.

Kairi: You go girl! _*SNAP SNAP*_

Cloud: …Sadly, yes. You see, it was-

Axel: Yo, blondie, shut it. I'm telling this story. Sky had us all go out to Radiant Garden to tell us all about Yaoi. She did one of the most popular ones out there, which was apparently the "adorable and sexy" pairing of an emotionally disturbed blonde with enough hair-gel to make supermodels pass out in envy and the androgynous **(Sky: big word, look it up kitties! ;D) **silver haired psychopath with a sword that must compensate for something.

Sky: …And that's how I became the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. x) Well, yep, true, true, story. To this day, Cloud's restraining order has worked a lot better than epic battles disappearing into the sky and into some unknown god-damned planet. ^_^

Xemnas: I won't even dignify that with a response!

Marluxia: Doll-face, I believe Sky has us all on a…what do you call it, again, sugar?

Sky: Contract?

Marluxia: That's it. So, sweetie-pie, you have no choice.

Roxas: What are you gonna do, drown him in flowers?

Marluxia: Don't you have a blonde artist to knock up? Or maybe an orange nerd? Or a rag-doll with split ends and a split personality?

Roxas: Touche, flower-boy.

_*Xion runs off to go cry and shave her head, Olette runs off to get a tattoo, and Namine blushes, being the only one not offended by the transvestite*_

Xemnas: Well, if I must…._*Coughs*_ Sexman.

Yuffie: Pardon me, my ninja senses were turned off! Repeat that!

Squall: It's turned off with your brain too.

_*Yuffie goes bat-shit insane on Squall while Sky records Xemnas*_

Xemnas: I-I…I said Sexman.

_*Everyone rolls around the floor laughing, even Squall, who is now missing his two front teeth*_

Sky: Oh, that's classic. You probably wanna be called that in bed by Saix Puppy.

Saix: _*blushes*_ Oh, those were quite enjoyable times.

Org XIII: WHA?

Xemnas: Saix, what did I say about keeping our business strictly kept under lock?

Saix: Right, my liege. Terribly sorry.

Sky: …I'm gonna pretend that didn't happen, okey dokey then. Err…Rik-

_*Riku is too busy trying to delete his website, imsosexyithurtstobreathe, online, and the website wasn't mentioned before because FF is retarded when it comes to certain things*_

Sky: Amen. Uhh, the other Rikku, blonde one, you may read! I like you! :D

Rikku: Aww, thanksies! :D Okey, here I go!

Axel: That's what she said!

Roxas: _*puts finger on nose* GOLD!_

Axel: Aww, damn! _*moans*_

Sky: …Don't ask. Everybody seems to do this now in the state of Massachusetts. -_-" Rikku, go on!

* * *

><p><em>Uh… whats yaoi?<em>

_Jax: *Sighs and shows picture*_

_Nyah! – EternalForces242_

* * *

><p>Sky: Oh hey, you seem familiar! Well, I know this wasn't exactly a question, but who cares? x)<p>

Sora: In case you haven't noticed, we chucked common sense out the window a long time ago.

Vanitas: And we also broke the window in the process.

Terra: And hurt many innocent normal folks in that continued process.

Sky: Okay, we get it. -_-" Goodness! VENTUS!

_*Sky snaps fingers, and Ventus comes running in with a dictionary in hand and reading glasses*_

Aqua: You look like a total douche-box.

Ventus: That's not what your mom said.

Terra: Seriously though, you really do look like a prick in those glasses, trying to act all smart.

Ventus: That's not what your dad said.

Everyone: …WTF?

Ventus: MOVINGONNOWOKAYTHANKS! :)

Sky: Right. Uh, look up the definition of Yaoi please.

Zexion: I've read the dictionary over a hundred times, and this one is a sane one, meaning there will be no profound yaoi crap in there.

Kairi: You just have to believe, Zexy!

Sky: Yeah Sexy Zexy, believe! :D

Zexion: Don't call me that. If you'll excuse me, I have the Red Riding Hood movie to watch.

Sky: Creep. Well, any luck Ven?

Ven: Ah-hem! **Yaoi: A slang term meaning 'boys love' or homosexuality that is used in the Japanese language. Popular with fangirls who like their favorite anime guys to kiss.**

Kairi: OOH! THE PICTURE! OMG GIRLS LOOK AT THE PICTURE!

Namine: What, what is it?

_*the picture is an insanely graphic one of Axel and Roxas having sex*_

Aqua: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I'm gonna throw up, this is too graphic!

Namine: My eyes! My innocent eyes!

Kairi: Axel, Roxas, to think you two were straight! IS ANY GUY IN THIS ROOM STRAIGHT ANYMORE?

Selphie: OH MY GEEE! _*nosebleed*_

Olette: Roxas, I am going to choke you with my shoelaces. You used me for some sort of revenge at Axel!

Sky: …Can a tongue really go that far into someone's-

Roxas: OHHEYDON'TWEHAVEANOTHERREVIEWLET'! :O

Axel: …I-I'll read. Burn the dictionary though.

Selphie: Over my dead body! _*nose is still bloody*_

Axel: Burn Selphie too then, while I read the review.

_Yo. I was wonderin'…can I be a guest star? That ways I can torture Vexen an' Xemnas, then glomp Axel and Zexion (thesmexyone) as much as I want! Yay! B-but if you don't want to tho, I understand. I'll just ask random questions!_

_Roxas:_

_Roxion, Roxel, Roxora, RoxRiku, or RoxNami?_

_Riku: (jus' for the hellovit) *innocent look* Are you gay? (happy. Don't tell him till he freaks.)_

_Xemnas: I bet you can't hold your head in a pot of boiling chili for 5 min._

_Demy: What can you play on your satire? (keeping him away from Zexy)_

_Seph: My favorite psychopath! How's Genesis doin'? Did u find ur dad yet? (tho I know who it is)_

_Everyone else: How are you all today? (anyone who curses or says something bad 'bout the show is getting hit with the Keyblade I stole from Xion) – Angel of Randomosity_

Sky: Sure! That'd be pretty cool! It's so lonely being the only normal one here! _*sighs while knitting Vanitas Chibi a sweater*_

_*Sora is picking his nose so intensely, his finger is starting to peel.*_

_*Kairi, Namine, and the other girls are looking up more Yaoi on the laptop.*_

_*Roxas and Axel are staring at each other awkwardly across the room, each eating pickles covered in peanut butter, for some reason.*_

_*Riku is beating up Demyx with the rest of the organization, while he starts crying and singing helplessly. Why he's singing, I dunno.*_

_*Aerith returns to cock-block Tifa, while Cloud is tweeting to his fanboys about his hair.*_

Sky: By the looks of it, I'm in hell. What kind of torture did you have in mind? :) I'll let you come by for a chapter or two! I share a strong dislike for those two as well, and Zexy is all your's. ^_^

Zexion: Don't tell me your selling my body again?

Sky: Of course not! Hehe…THAT WAS JUST ONE TIME AND IT WAS PRETTY PRICEY, I MADE A TON OF MOOLAH OFF YOUR TINY PE-

Axel: HEAR NO EVIL SEE NO EVIL SPEAK NO EVIL! _*bathes in holy fire*_

Sora: Isn't that some kind of oxymoron?

Sky: FML.

Roxas: Err…Riku's a dick.

Riku: You are what you have, which is more than what I can say for you.

Roxas: Bitch, the expression is you are what you eat. So you eat dicks. :D

Riku: I'm not the gay one here, so just answer your friggin' question.

Roxas: Don't hate, ho. Well, not Roxora. That's masturbation of some kind, isn't it?

Namine: Ask Marluxia.

Marluxia: YOU STUPID SKANK! Err, I mean…yeah I mean you stupid skank. When I say you don't speak of something, you don't speak of it, not say it on camera to impress your boyfriend.

Namine: Next time don't break my crayons…b-b-b-

_*Sky slaps on back*_

Namine: BITCH. That felt good.

Axel: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! BLUE! _*puts finger on nose*_

Roxas: Aww, c'mon! _*moans*_

Sky: Right. ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Roxas: Oh, right. Uh, I'm straight, and Xion's just my friend, so Nami I guess.

Kairi: YOU GUESS? THIS ISN'T A GAME SHOW, DAMNIT, YES OR NO!

Roxas: YES, YES!

Namine: Aww.._ *blushes*_

Riku: Okay, I'm a man-whore. Meaning, I go threw girls like money flying out of my hands. They try to change me but they realize they can't-

Tidus: Dude, you just quoted Miley Cyrus. You're gay.

Riku: OMG I AM NOT GAY I LIKE CHICKS! WITH BOOBS! I LIKED KAIRI AND XION NOW I LIKE EVERY SINGLE GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE AND THEY ALL HAVE SEX DREAMS OF ME! THUS, I'M STRAIGHTER THAN A RULER!

Wakka: Unless it's those bendy rulers in 3rd grade, yah?

Riku: -_-" FML. Just. FML. To hell. _*Riku storms off into emo corner after throwing Ienzo and Zexion out*_

Sky: That rhymed. Since Riku can't hear me over the sound of Linkin' Park, I should tell him the reviewer meant the happy one. Huh, oh welp!

Xemnas: You pathetic fool, you dare challenge me? Number II, get me The Pot That Was A Fail Of A Dinner.

Vanitas: The Organization must be a homo-friendly group.

Xigbar: Here you go, man. Don't get too burnt, you used to be whiter than Namine. _*puts chili on table*_

Xemnas: LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!

_*20 seconds later*_

Xemnas: _*squeals like a girl* _STUPID CHILI! MY HAIR IS BLACK, MY EYES ARE BURNING, AND I FEEL NUMB AND WEAK!

Sky: Should've had a V8, dude. Dem-Dem, go put him in the bathtub.

Demyx: Okey dokey! Hey, what's a V8?

Everyone: JUST GO DEMYX.

Sky: Wait, answer your question first real quick.

Demyx: Oh, uhmmm…I can play Green Day, Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, Drake-

Ventus: Correct me if I'm wrong, which is mostly half the time here, but isn't that a rapper?

Demyx: What's your point?

Ventus: ….Oh, nothing. That it?

Demyx: I can play anything except Taylor Swift.

Vanitas: …Dare I ask, why?

Demyx: Just can't.

Sky: That doesn't explain anyt-

Demyx: I JUST CAN'T! xO _*runs off dragging Xemnas away*_

Sky: Right. Tifa, take Cloud out of a 100 foot radius, Sephy's got a question for once.

Tifa: 'Kay.

Axel: TAME THE LION, STRIFE! TAME THE LION!

Yuffie: PROTECTION CURES CANCER!

Cloud: …. _*is escorted out by Tifa*_

Sky: Nice words of wisdom.

Sephiroth: Greetings…Infidels.

Axel: Er, hiya-

Sephiroth: SILENCE. I SLICE YOU. SLICE DICE!

Roxas: …'Cause that's so intimidating.

Sepiroth: I know you are quaking in your baggy-waggy pants at the sight of me. And my shirtless glory. Are you not?

Roxas: Not at all, no.

Sephiroth: …RAWR.

Roxas: Still nothin'.

Sephiroth: DAMN. Well, it is a pleasure to hear I am your favorite. Usually Sky is the favorite psychopath.

Sky: -_-" Bitch.

Sephiroth: Haha, yes you are. Genesis is doing great, he now reads angst poetry in The World That Never Was café, and he is quite the hit.

Sky: Really? Vannie-kun, we are so going on a date there sometime soon!

Vanitas: Yay. Well, fine, for you babe.

Sephiroth: Young love sickens me. My dad? …I have a father? After all those years of people calling me a bastard…THEY WERE WRONG! I DO HAVE A FATHER!

Xigbar: Man, a bastard is someone that doesn't know their father. You still don't know 'em.

Sephiroth: Fiddle-sticks! _*pouts darkly*_

Sora: How does that even make sense.

Sky: Hush up. Sephiroth, you're free to go search for your dad now.

Sephiroth: AND I SAY HEY I BE GONE TODAY, BUT I'LL BE BACK, COME AROUND THE WAY! I SEE THAT ANYWHERE I GO, THE MORE I SEE THE LESS I KNOW! BUT I KNOW ONE THANG…THAT I HATE YOU! :D kthanxbai!

_*Sepihroth frolicks out the door*_

Sky: Uhh…okay? Well, I am doing super-dee-dooper! A bit tired, but awesome! Thanks for asking!

Sora: I'm stuck here, so naturally, a bit okay. I would like a cookie, however.

Kairi: Fine, thanks! :)

Riku: Sexy, as always! ;) Thanks for asking!

Namine: Alright, not too bad.

Roxas: Disturbed.

Org XIII: Awkward, uncomfortable, and any other synonym that follows that.

**(Xion: OH GREAT SHE STOLE MY KEYBLADE NOW! DOES ANYONE IN THIS WOLRD LIKE ME, EVEN A LITTLE BIT? DO I REMIND SOMEONE OF A COUSIN OR SOMETHING? C'MON, DAMMIT!)**

BBS Characters: Eh, I could be worse.

Ven: I could be watching High School Musical right now! _*Pouts*_

Sky: Ah, don't worry, we're almost done here. Then we can watch it!

Ven and Sky: BOOYAH! _*epic high-five jumping*_

FF Characters: Super. -_-

Not Important Characters: Okay, except that Sky is super rude to us.

Sky: You have no feelings, so hush up! Well, bye bye, and let's get to that ending song!

* * *

><p><strong><em>*Girls are up on a random stage that came out of nowhere, ready to sing Nicki Minaj's Super Bass. Beware kiddies, there's swears, and I'm a Nicki Minaj spazz, so I know every word of her songs. SWEARS INDEED, YO. No likey or no wanna see, skip please! Not to be rude or anything, er, now I'm ranting, so I'll shut up*<em>**

**Sky: Good._  
><em>**

**_*Music plays*_**

**Girls: This one is for the boys with the boomin' system, top down, AC, with the coolin' system! When he come up in the club, he be savin' up, got stacks on deck, like he savin' up!**

_***Axel shoves the girls off the stage that appeared out of nowhere, getting in the front and taking over the song***_

**Axel: And he ill, he real, he might got a deal. He pop bottles and he got that right kinda bill. He cold, he dope, he might sell coke, he always in the air, but he never fly coach. **

_***Sora shoves Axel, standing in front of him and trying to cover him from view***_

**Sora: He a motherfuckin' trip, trip, sailor of the ship, ship! When he make it drip, drip, kiss 'em on the lip, lip! That's the kinda dude I was lookin' fo, and yes, you'll get slapped if ya lookin' ho!**

_***Marluxia shoves Sora, taking over again***_

**Marluxia: I said, excuse me, you're a hell of a guy, I mean, my, my, my, my, your like pelican fly. I mean, you're so shy, and I'm lovin' your tie. You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, OH!**

_***Xaldin shoves Marluxia out of the way***_

**Xaldin: Yes I did, yes I did, somebody please tell 'em who the eff I is, I am Xaldin Dilan, I mack them dudes up, back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up!**

_***Axel, Sora, Marluxia, and Xaldin do the dance from the Nicki Minaj video, with the outfits and everything, while the girls huff and run off stage***_

**Guys: BOY YOU GOT MY HEARTBEAT RUNNIN' AWAY, BEATIN' LIKE A DRUM AND IT'S COMIN' YOUR WAY, CAN'T YOU HEAR THAT BOOM, BADOOM BOOM, BOOM, BADOOM BOOM, BASS! HE GOT THAT SUPER BASS!**

***Sky throws the camera across the room and swears uncontrollably***

* * *

><p><em>Sorry, I'll start the off-set thingies in normal story mode next chapter. I'm extremely tired right now, since it was a school day and I woke up at 6 and haven't slept since. It's currently 4 in the morning. -_-" Boy, will I have quite the day.<em>

_Leave me some wonderful questions and such, would you? Also, if you have any ideas or requests for a fic, anything at all, just lemme know! Look at me, I'm advertising. Gosh, by the end of this fanfic, there's gonna be a community dedicated to me being an asshole. Bye guys, love you all! :D  
><em>


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